I look around and wonder.
How my mind would feel right now.
How my body would be changed.
How my days would play out.

I look around and wonder.
Why does no one talk about this.
Why does everyone ignore it.
Why does it feel so alone.

I look around and wonder.
How many mama's feel the same.
How many babies are not here.
How many times they are missed.

I look around and wonder.
If I'll ever understand.
If I'll ever be here again.
If I'll ever forget.

Why does no one talk about the babies that they lose.
Why do people think I'm crazy for remembering that my body is no crib just now.
What should I expect this week?
I so understand why so many choose to try having a baby fairly soon.
It would be o so much easier if I had another in utero.
But alas, I don't.
And I wonder.